


Spinning Empty Bottles

by Armout



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M, Music Drabble, Oneshot, Short Drabble, and suddenly nothing makes sense, crackfic, in which everyone's kinda drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:18:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armout/pseuds/Armout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wakes up and finds himself at a very strange party... an interesting game of spin the bottle is in order, but something isn't right... what the hell is going on? </p>
<p>Crackfic/slash/slightly songfic/oneshot thing who even knows anymore just enjoy the damn thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spinning Empty Bottles

**Author's Note:**

> This was written almost 2 entire years ago whoops. I thought I'd upload it here anyways...? As it still amuses me. Here's the summary from then:  
> \-------------------------------------------------  
> A/N: For a #Drarry-For-Life Deviantart fangroup songfic contest. I used the songs For the Girl, by The Fratellis; White Houses, by Vanessa Carlton; and The Future Freaks Me Out, by Motion City. Rated T because they’re teens, and nothing gets too out of hand here. I don’t own Harry Potter, or any of the characters, or any of the songs, etc, I only wrote the story. Takes place during Harry and Draco’s 5th year. Pretty much a crackfic, so uh.  
> I was listening to the songs I could choose from, and heard the line “Now we're spinning empty bottles, it's the five of us” from White Houses, and it immediately reminded me of a weird dream I once had. So this is based loosely on that dream…

Harry didn’t remember how he got here.

  
How did he?

  
He didn’t remember _walking_ in, that’s for sure.

  
Maybe somebody knocked him out then brought him here.

  
Probably the Weasley twins.

  
Harry looked around again, still trying to make sense of his surroundings. He was sitting on the floor, propped up against the wall, but he could still see most of the room. Well, he _would_ be able to, if there weren’t so many _people_ in it. It seemed that the entire room was filled with dancing, partying people. No, not just any people…students. _Hogwarts_ students. It made sense now, to Harry, that this was probably a classroom. The first person he recognized was Dean, who was dancing with a 4th year girl he was pretty sure was on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Then he noticed Ron on the other side of the room, who had a firewhisky in his hand and seemed to be chatting animatedly with Seamus, Bletchley, Page, and a couple other guys who played Quidditch.

  
Harry sat up, sore from sitting down, (how long was he there?) and began to walk towards the group, but before he made it three steps, two arms slung around his shoulders.

  
“Hullo, Harry!” Harry spun to his left. George.

  
“About time you woke up!” Harry didn’t have to turn to his right to know that Fred was there.

  
“How long was I there? How did I get here…?” But Harry’s question went unanswered, for Fred and George then shoved him among the throng of wildly dancing students, shouting something that sounded suspiciously like “Have some fun for once, you sad twit!”

  
Unfortunately, once Harry was thrown into the mass of dancing bodies, he couldn’t find a way out. With everyone moving so close together, he could barely _breathe_. The only thing he could hear was _…And all the while the girls sang, la la la la and she sang, kickings for my sweetheart, bruises that I just don’t miss, and she said “I just can’t love you anymore than this!..._ ; someone somewhere must have cast a spell to play very _loud_ music.

  
Incredulously, it was _Hermione_ who came to his rescue. Well, it wasn’t that it was incredulous for her to come to his rescue- she often did, for both he and Ron- but it was incredulous to find her _here_.

  
“You okay, Harry? You look confused!” Hermione asked as she danced.

  
“Confused?! Of course I’m confused! What are you doing here? What am _I_ doing here? Shouldn’t you, as a prefect, be _stopping_ this party? How did I get here? What’s this party even for, anyways? You can _dance_? And most importantly, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?” Harry felt dizzy.

  
“Harry?” she asked, concerned. She grabbed his hand and somehow managed to squeeze them off the dance floor. “What’s with you? Everyone’s having so much fun! You should too, you know. Might be good for you.” She winked. Then hiccupped.

  
_What…the hell…_

  
Was Hermione _drunk_? Harry noticed her pink cheeks, slightly glazed eyes, and loopy smile. Yep. As a matter of fact, she _was_. Come to think of it… as he looked around, he could see that pretty much _everyone_ looked drunk.

  
Just as he was thinking this, Hermione shoved a bottle of firewhisky in his mouth, forcing him to gulp, gulp, gulp… it burned his throat like a bint, and when she pulled the bottle away, the first thing he did was cough and sputter. But he felt warm now, fuzzy and tingly everywhere. Why was he so worried? He couldn’t remember. Shouldn’t he be having _fun_? Fun seemed like a very good idea now. He grinned at Hermione, who grinned back.

  
He felt like he should have more firewhisky, but he was saddened to realize that Hermione’s bottle was now empty, (as she had just chugged the rest) and he couldn’t see any full bottles lying around. He raised his hand up to grab Hermione’s arm so that they could find more, except he found a bottle already in it. _How… it hadn’t been there a moment ago, I swear…_ Harry shrugged it off, it didn’t matter anymore, nothing seemed to matter as he chugged half the bottle.

  
“What should we do now, ‘Mione?” he asked. He was in the mood for _anything_ , really. He was all lightheaded, and he felt positively bubbly.

  
“What else?” she replied, and pointed to a corner of the room he hadn’t noticed before, where a bunch of students were sitting in a circle. “Spin-the-bottle!” She grabbed his free hand and skipped towards it.

  
Harry recognized many of the people sitting, amongst them now Dean and Ron. Ron waved, and motioned them to sit by him. As he and Hermione sat, Harry noticed that oddly, many of the students in the circle had missing articles of clothing.

  
“What’s with the clothes, Ron?” he asked, as Ron himself was missing his shirt and one of his shoes.

  
“Thissssizznt regulah schpin dhhe bottle, ‘Arry.” Ron said importantly, if not a bit slurred. “Wheni’ schpins on you, inschtead o’ then kissthing zeh nex’ person it schpins on,” –Ron paused here to take a drink from his firewhisky- “you, you eitha’ assk the person t’ take off a piece’a clothing, or ah… orrr… or ya kiss’em.” He smiled smugly. “’S’lot funna dis way.” At this, he eyed a skirtless Susan Bones, who winked back at him.

  
Harry grinned, why not? He looked around the rest of the students in the circle, who were all watching an empty firewhisky bottle spin magically in midair. There were about twenty people, but the only ones he recognized besides Ron and Hermione were Neville, Padma, Seamus, Charlie (Weasley? Wait…what?), Cho, Parkinson, Malfoy, Alicia, Bo- _wait. MALFOY?_ Just as he was beginning to have fun, _he_ comes along. Harry pouted. Malfoy was currently shirtless, and had both Parkinson and some other girl hanging on him. Arrogant bastard.

  
Hermione must have read his thoughts, because she leaned over and said, “Just ignore the git, Harry, and have some fun!” Harry looked over and _hheeeeeyyyyyy WHEN did she take off her shirt?_ He must have missed part of the game while he was observing the rest of the circle. He drank some more firewhisky and listened to the still-blasting music as he watched Padma kiss some guy.

  
_Crashed on the floor when I moved in, this little bungalow with some strange new friends._   
_Stay up too late, and I'm too thin, we promise each other it's 'til the end._   
_Now we're spinning empty bottles, it's the five of us,_   
_with pretty eyed boys girls die to trust._   
_I can't resist the day, no I can't resist the day._   
_Jenny screams out and it's no pose, 'cause when she dances she goes and goes._   
_Beer through the nose on an inside joke, and I'm so excited, I haven't spoken._   
_And she's so pretty, and she's so sure,_   
_maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her._   
_Summer's all in bloom,_   
_Summer is ending soon…_   


  
“-Harry! Harry…HARRY!” he whipped around to face Seamus. “There we go! Hahaa, spin the bottle, Harry!” Sure enough, when he looked at the floating bottle, it was pointed at _him_. He felt a rush of nervous excitement, then spun the bottle with his wand. Going, going, aaannd… it stopped at a girl Harry didn’t know, who immediately blushed. On cue, Harry asked “Kiss or clothes?” Despite a couple of people chanting “Kiss, kiss, kiss!”, she chose ‘clothes’, and removed her other shoe. Harry went back to listening to the song. He didn’t really know what it was about, but he liked it.

  
_…It's alright, and I put myself in his hands,_   
_but I hold on to your secrets in white houses._   
_Love, or something ignites in my veins,_   
_and I pray it never fades in white houses…_   


  
Harry nearly spat out his next gulp of firewhisky when Hermione kissed Neville, not really because of the fact that she _was_ , but because of Ron’s _face_. He looked shocked, jealous, and highly amused all at the same time. Harry only heard _We gave each other up so easily, these silly little wounds will never mend_ before the bottle was back on him again. It was okay though; the song was getting kinda sad anyways.

  
He again spun the bottle with his wand, and it spun, spun, and spun… right onto _Malfoy_. He was partly angered, just because it was Malfoy, and partly relieved, because, well, obviously Malfoy’d rather take off clothes than kiss Harry, which meant Harry didn’t actually have to do anything.

 

“Kiss or clothes?” he asked in a monotone voice.

  
Parkinson, now in only a bra and underwear, whispered something into Malfoy’s ear, at which he nodded his head. He then turned to Harry, and _smirked_.

  
_Shit._

  
“Kiss.”

  
_…_

  
_Goddammit._

  
The rest of the circle cheered. _Why??_ He turned to Ron and Hermione, even _they_ were cheering. _Traitors._ Well… there was no helping it, he supposed. Harry tried not to think about what he was doing as he leaned over the circle to meet Malfoy halfway. Closer…closer... Malfoy’s silver eyes fluttered shut now…and… their lips met, and Harry closed his eyes.

  
It wasn’t like kissing a girl. Well, it was, but it wasn’t. Harry didn’t know how to describe it, just that it was _brilliant_. Their lips moved together perfectly, then Malfoy raised a hand to the back of Harry’s neck, and the kiss deepened. … _I’m on fire, and now I think I’m ready, to bust a move. Check it out I’m rocking steady to the beat in my head, it goes oh-ouwoh..._ The current song only made Harry feel more confident, and he nibbled Malfoy’s bottom lip, to which the blonde made a gasping noise, and opened his mouth to allow Harry’s tongue inside. Godric, he tasted good. Like… like firewhisky and…mint? Harry was starting to find it hard to breathe though, so he pulled away.

  
_Merlin._

  
He kissed Malfoy, and _liked_ it. …A lot. He turned around to see how Ron and Hermione reacted to it, but... for the umpteenth time that night, Harry was very confused. Where Ron and Hermione should have been, there was just empty couch. He was definitely not in the same room he was in just a minute ago. Besides he and Malfoy, the room was devoid of people… where was everyone? Where was _he_? Wait, he recognized this room, he had been in it once before… With a mental _aha!_ , he realized that he was in the Slytherin common room. He had only been in there once before, when he and Ron had been polyjuiced as Crabbe and Goyle, but how…?

  
Before he could register any more, Malfoy dragged him into another kiss. This was nice, he could get used to this. It suddenly didn’t matter that he was popping up in random places, in random situations, with random people… the only thing he could think about was Malfoy’s hands on his now-bare chest. He closed his eyes again and returned with as much enthusiasm as he was receiving, feeling Malfoy’s smooth skin everywhere. Why did he hate him again? Harry couldn’t remember. As he and Malfoy snogged, he began to hear music in his head again, _Betty, I’m a dreamer, I’m not a vicious schemer. Oh Betty won’t you… ah fuck it._ And _Ah fuck it_ was right, because Harry realized with shock that the music wasn’t just in his head anymore. He opened his eyes, and found himself kissing _Millicent Bulstrode_. He was back at the party?

  
He pulled away from her immediately, and swung around to see Ron and Hermione, as well as the rest of the circle, giggling drunkenly at them. He turned back to Bulstrode, horrified, and she wiggled her fingers at him in a _come hither_ fashion. Where was Malfoy? He stood up and fled the circle before he was forced to do anything else with the horrible Slytherin girl. He could have _sworn_ he was kissing Malfoy a minute ago. He pushed his way through the vigorously moving students on the dance floor, hoping to spot a flash of platinum-blonde hair.

  
Harry pushed and pushed through the students until he was back near the corner he awoke in. Strangely, he couldn’t find a door anywhere. He turned to go find Ron and Hermione to ask them if they could _leave_ , when he spotted him leaning against a wall. _Malfoy!_

  
He ran towards him, but as he got closer, he morphed into _Ginny_. What? He stopped in his tracks. He blinked, and rubbed his eyes, but when he opened them again, she was in a strange animal costume…and walking towards him? He began backing away, but she continued to walk closer. Suddenly, it wasn’t Ginny anymore, it was _Snape_. Harry’s mind reeled. Snape wasn’t wearing the costume anymore either, instead he was holding a large textbook, (titled _101 Ways to Make Harry Potter Cry, by Gilderoy Lockeheart_ ) and was chanting the number “…three hundred and ninety four, three hundred and ninety four, three hundred and ninety…” over and over. Harry was horrified; nobody else seemed to notice anything was wrong. Snape then transformed into Umbridge, who smiled wickedly. He backed away faster now.

  
“Do not tell lies, sweetheart. They only _hurt_ you, in the end.” Then she laughed shrilly. Wait. Umbridge didn’t laugh like that! He turned to call for help, but the room was empty now. He felt a sickening pit in his stomach as he backed up against something solid. _Trapped_. He turned around just enough to see that he was backed up against the Mirror of Erised. He couldn’t pay attention to that now, though, because Umbridge grabbed him by his red and gold striped tie and lifted him up from the ground slightly.

  
“ _Harryyy…_ ” she hissed. Harry’s blood froze. That was _Voldemort’s_ voice, as was the laughter… Sure enough, just as he was thinking it, Umbridge’s face turned into Voldemort’s face, contorted into what Harry presumed to be some sort of grin. His stomach lurched and he felt nauseous as he was lifted high into the air by Voldemort’s fist. He tried to scream, but nothing came out. Voldemort opened his mouth to bare rows of sharp, pointy yellow teeth, and slowly began to lower Harry’s neck towards them. Harry writhed and kicked, all the while his scar burning. He was so close now…this was the end… Voldemort was going to get him… The last thing he saw before Voldemort’s teeth pierced his neck was the reflection in the Mirror or Erised, not of himself, nor his family, but of Draco Malfoy… he felt a blinding flash of pain in his forehead, then everything went black…

  
****

  
***

  
**

  
*

  
Harry flung into a sitting position, gasping for air and wet with cold sweat. Immediately, he pressed his hand to his scar, which was still pulsing painfully.

  
_Merlin._

  
He couldn’t see anything… he momentarily panicked, then looked to his right, where he could see his glasses, a couple books, and his wand on his bedside table in the dark. He could hear Ron snoring softly beyond his curtains. He breathed a sigh of relief. It was just a dream, then. A horrible nightmare.

  
He pondered on that for a moment. _No…_ a bloody _weird_ nightmare. He rethought what he remembered of the dream… He, kissing _Malfoy_?? His stomach flipped uncomfortably. _That_ was almost scarier than Voldemort. Harry decided to just not think about it ever again, and flopped back down in his four-poster.

  
When he awoke again in the morning, he didn’t even remember having the dream.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I regret nothing.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> And I add another short drabble to my hefty collection of two. I mayyyy upload my Glee collection of fluffy one-shots, and I'm working on a multichapter Attack on Titan story right now. Nothing too impressive, but I'll give you what I have.


End file.
